I have made it my mission to help as many people as I can to lead a better, richer, happier and more wholesome life – no matter what has come before or where a person may be right now”
My parents have always had their own business, and they had built a really strong, successful building trades business but unfortunately it fell victim to the 1992 recession and in no real time at all my Dad was letting around 100 workmen go, most with families of their own who were struggling.
At this time, I was only 11 or 12 so I didn’t really understand what a recession was. To be honest it was only a few years prior to this that I learned that The Queen and Margaret Thatcher weren’t the same person. SO, I was a slow learner. What I did know though was that I didn’t like being told that our house could be repossessed at any time, and that I wasn’t to open the door to anyone I didn’t recognise in case it was bailiffs.
We never did get repossessed, but my parents always struggled to rebuild the business and lifestyle that they had previously had. And I grew older, watching and experiencing their pain and their heartache as each attempt to break into a new market failed, I knew then that I wasn’t prepared to suffer as they have.
My Hopes, Dreams, and Struggles
But I had my own troubles through high school of coming to terms with being gay so it wasn’t until I left school that I began searching for what would make me happy. I knew I wanted to ‘be’ somebody. Somebody people would recognise and admire. I wanted to prove that this nobody could be a somebody. Somebody awesome.
So, I focused solely on myself, mistakenly thinking that this was the way to get what I wanted. I wasn’t a very nice person, and I had zero friends because of it. I didn’t yet appreciate the words of Zig Ziglar who said ‘you can have everything in life you want, if you will just help enough people get what they want.’ I was poor, I didn’t know where my life was going, and I was utterly alone.
This started me down a very dark path. I became depressed, I drank to excess, and I feared being hurt by people –baggage I had brought with me from school where I was afraid to be who I really was for fear of being bullied or rejected – so my tactic was attack as a means to defend. Not a great tactic.
I did consider taking my own life, but I couldn’t.
I wanted to escape, so I got a job on a cruise ship as a Passenger Services Assistant, essentially working on the front desk dealing with everyone else’s problems. Surprisingly, I was really good at that and the passengers loved me. The rest of the crew didn’t though, as I was still a prick to them. It was towards the end of my first contract that I had some kind of epiphany: I hated being disliked so I made a commitment to myself one night that from tomorrow, I was going to be different. I was going to apologise to everyone for being a dick, and that I was going to try this new idea I had had, which I called ‘being nice to people’.
It was remarkable. People accepted my apology, and would you believe that as I started being nice to other people, they were nice back and we became friends. It was more than just being accepted. I was liked. A part of my life that had been missing for such a long time was now being filled, and that new sense of love and belonging allowed me to return to my dream of making a better life for myself.
I chose to leave sea life to go to university where I studied Business and specialised in HR Training & Development. I climbed the corporate ladder, doing my very best to support people better themselves and advance their own careers. It was great.
Great until the global financial crash of 2008 really started sinking its teeth in and the years of austerity that followed took hold, strangling the business community. Training and development initiatives were out, and restructures and redundancies were in. At the time, I remember it felt like I was surrounded by Dementors from Harry Potter that would just suck the happiness from my soul.
I got out of working for someone else and went into business for myself. I took another post-graduate course in Executive Coaching and Mentoring and set up my own Success Coaching business.
This has allowed me to help other professionals change their lives for the better, be it by growing an income they never thought possible or introducing new income streams to provide greater long-term security from whatever is going on the outside world. But not only that: some people’s success is about living more fulfilling lives, being happier, healthier, a better parent, whatever. Success in life is what we all want, even though it looks different to each of us. As a Success Coach I know that the help I give to others really makes a difference to their lives, and that suits me just fine.
In the end, I am now happier than I have ever been. I’m married and soon, my husband and I hope to adopt and have a little family all of our own. I now have two successful businesses in coaching and network marketing, and I know that the more people I get to help become successful in their own right, the more financial secure me and my family will become. Long gone are the days of fearing a knock on the door from the bailiffs.
My Personal Transformation
My life today is wonderful, and I know it will only get better. All I had to do was become a better person. Having aspirations for success and greatness are all fine, but truly, if you don’t take people with you on your journey, you’re still only going to a very lonely and unhappy place. When all said and done, I’m here to help other people succeed. Imagine how I must feel when I can see the people I support changing their lives for the better. It’s a magnificent feeling. It’s like living your wedding day or meeting your first born every single day.
In the end, I know that what I am doing allows me to support my family. My husband can live a stress-free life and pursue his interests, our children will have the best start in their lives, and my parents can truly enjoy the rest of their lives, happily in retirement doing whatever it is that takes their fancy – which normally involves going on cruises – but I’m happy with that. It was cruising that changed my life.
For things to change for you, you need to change.”